On Death and Dying

Death was a lesson that I learned about at a very young age. When I was in second grade, my grandmother, who I called "Nanny" passed away from cancer. I was so young that it was difficult to understand what was happening when my parents told me. They told me she was very sick, but she still looked the same, talked the same, acted the same, so I don't think I realized what they were talking about.

My favorite memories about my Nanny were a few good ones. Mostly insignificant to anyone else, but they meant everything to me. I remember when I was young she would let me sit on top of the vacuum and she would push me around while she cleaned. I remember that she would sit me on her knee and bounce me up and down while she sang me the "Pony Girl" song. I remember that on holidays, she would make a big bowl of white sticky rice (which was my favorite) just for me.

I also remember her decline. Without me noticing, she lost all of her hair due to the chemo. She would always wear silky scarves over her head. We would always go outside into the garden and work and play. Then one day I realized that we didn't go outside anymore. We stayed inside and read books. Then she progressed, and didn't get out of her chair anymore.

One night I fell asleep, and the next morning when I woke up she was gone. The paramedics had taken her away in the middle of the night after she had passed away. I remember being SO mad at my parents. I was mad that they didn't wake me up so I could say goodbye. I was mad at my Nanny because she said that she would take me to the first day of second grade at my new school. She never made it.

It took a long time for the anger to go away. But it did. I experienced death again later in life, but with my grandpa this time. It was different with him though, because I was older, and processed the situation in a different way. I was holding his hand when he died.

Getting Old is Expensive!

I will be honest. I really hope that I die before I am unable to take care of myself. I work in the nursing industry, and although I pride myself on taking great care of my patients, I also see the people who really don't give a crap, and are just there for the paycheck.

It is so dang expensive to get old. You have the cost of housing, which for a nursing home is at an average around $7,000 a month! WHAT?? Then you have supplies, insurance, and medical bills and everything else you can think of. By the time I'm old enought o need this type of care, they think social security will have run out, so that won't help me any. (Good thing I pay into it every month!)

It is so sad that you work your ass off for your entire life only to have enough money to die comfortably. When my grandpa passed, he had in-home care, which was costing nearly $10,000 a month. And some of the ladies that they sent him were nuts. Literally. One even wore a "Magic Cloak" everywhere she went. Definitely not worth the money.

All in all, I'm terrified to get old. Especially since I work in the geriatric field. I see everything that goes on in everyones dialy lives, and it scares the crap out of me.

Old Sex

Getting older sucks, right? Things start to change. Our bodies slow down. Gravity kicks in. All that good stuff. But to me, it really doesn't seem so terrible.

So maybe my boobs will start to sag and I won't be able to get away with not wearing a bra. Life goes on!

I work in an assisted living facility, and some of the women there are more sexually active than myself! I am constantly getting bombarded with stories of steamy romps between the sheets. Some of these stories I would much rather not know, but it cracks me up to see elderly women act like a young, giddy girl. It really is the cutest thing ever. These women are not super models. Their skin sags and they aren't quite as spry as they used to be.

But these women are so confident in themselves. They know who they are. They know their bodies. And they accept it and enjoy life no matter what.

People say menopause is "the end of life as we know it" but from what I've seen, some aspects of life get better with age!

My Family

Since it is almost Thanksgiving, this week's readings fit perfectly. I am SO THANKFUL that I have a caring, loving set of parents who always, no matter what, put me and my sister's needs before theirs. They spoil us like crazy, and would give us the whole world if they could!

I can't imagine what life would have been like growing up if my parents weren't together. They have been married 24 years, which is half of their lives! I don't think they would know what to do without each other either. Twenty four years later and my dad still brings random "I Love You" flowers home for my mom, and runs to the door to greet her when she gets home. (Sounds like a puppy...? Just kidding!) I don't think I could have handled it if my parents split up. I was a tough-to-handle teenager as it was, they needed each other to raise me! If it would have been one of them against me, I probably would have won.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be a child of divorce. Having to spend holidays apart instead of as a family. I would definitely be one of those children with relationship issues. I already have enough as it is! My parents give me hope that love can be unconditional. And can stay strong throughout the years, through good and bad.

I am so thankful that I wasn't a lost child of divorce. Childhood is hard enough, let alone having to try and figure out where you stand in your so called "family". It would be hard though, as a parent, to decide what to do. Do you raise your child in a hostile environment, where all you do is hate your spouse all day everyday? Or do you separate, and become happier as individuals, but put more strain on the child? Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me. Here's to hoping I am blessed enough to have a love like my parents!

Zzzzzzz Time

As a teen, I got tons of sleep. I had strict parents, so I was never out late doing things. My bedtime was 8pm until my junior year, when they changed it to ten. All those nights of fighting with them to have my bedtime changed, and when it finally got changed, I STILL went to bed at 8. (They were right AGAIN, go figure....)

 I got good grades. I did well in school and athletics. And then I went to college. What I would have given for nap time again! I went from sleeping around 9 hours nightly to maybe 5 because of studying, sports, and college life. My grades and my health suffered.

Now I work full time and go to school full time, and it is really hard for me to cut out a 7 hour chunk for sleep, but I force myself to do so. I know what will happen if I don't!

(As I write this, I'm having a very hard time focusing. I have the flu and can hardly focus long enough to complete a sentence. So please excuse the choppy train of thought.)

The point is, it is imperative for teens to get enough sleep. It's one of those things that when I have children, will be non-negotiable. Lack of sleep affects everything from growth to attention span. It is something that more parents should be strict about.

Parenting: Lost or Lazy?

The article Parenting: The Lost Art actually kind of made me upset. It makes me so mad when parents say "I work too much, I don't have time". No matter how much you work, you should ALWAYS have time for your children. I am not a parent yet, so I guess I can't speak from experience, but I do have two dogs, which are practically my children. I work full time and go to school full time. I don't have a lot of free time. But I always find time everyday to take my pups on a walk and spend quality time with them. By not spending time with your children,. I feel like it is a form of neglect, even if all of their physical needs are met.

The biggest story in this article was "The Lost Children of Rockdale County". This story makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. The parents who were interviewed in this news story stated "They have to make decisions, whether to take drugs, to have sex. I can give them my opinion, tell them how I feel. But they have to decide for themselves." No! This is not how parenting works! How can you be so casual about raising a child?? These are children! They do not know what is right or wrong or what is best for them, so that is why the parents must be there to guide them. The children were clearly aware of this lack of authority, and stated "We're pretty much like best friends or something, I mean I can pretty much tell 'em how I feel, what I wanna do and they'll let me do it."

When I was growing up, I sometimes thought that my parents were the worst parents in the world. To me, they never let me go anywhere or do anything (keep in mind that this is in my teenage brain). Now, at 21, I am so very thankful that they were strict with me. I was able to develop values and determine what was important to me in life. I was able to grow friendships, but I also had the sense to realize that doing things to fit in with your "friends" is not what was important in life.

I know that when I am a parent, I will raise my children the same way that my parents raised me. They were (and still are) active in my life. I'm sure they will hate me for it for a while, but hopefully when they are older they will appreciate it like I do now.

But back to these Rockdale children. I really don't understand how it got to this point. These CHILDREN were playing sex games with each other. Where? Where on earth did this take place that no one was aware of it? How did these parents not know where their children were? Kids can be sneaky, sure, but obviously there was a huge lack of parenting here.

Was this because the parents were too busy with work and other things in their lives? Or has the mentality of parenting shifted to "They have a roof over their head and food in their bellies, I've done my job."? Are adults getting lazy and thinking that their child will just always make the right choices without enforcement? Do they do this because it is easier than arguing with their child?

Medicating Young Minds

The debate over whether or not children should be put on prescription medication could go on forever. There are valid points for each side. Some people have great success with medication, while others encounter many negative side effects. Everything changes from person to person.

But in my situation, I am very glad to have the option to be on medication. I do not have ADHD, but I have been diagnosed with a few other things.

When I moved away to college, it was an amazing experience. I was five hours away from home, out of state, and totally independent. I was loving it! My sophomore year however, things started going wrong. I started gaining weight very rapidly. I was always sick. I wasn't sleeping, and I was always tired, but when I laid in bed at night I would stare at the ceiling until morning. I was always anxious. I was always worried and stressed, even though I wasn't sure what I was stressed about. I couldn't focus enough to do any homework, and I was too tired to go to class. So, inevitably, I had to withdraw myself from school. The girl in "Medicating Young Minds" reminded me a lot of myself.

I moved back home into my parent's house. The doctors all thought I was bipolar, but with further testing and evaluation, it turns out I had an extremely low Vitamin D level, which caused Hypothyroidism, which caused Anxiety, and Depression. With drug therapy and counseling I was able to become myself again. If I hadn't have had access to those prescriptions, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'm working a full time job in the healthcare field, and I am going to school full time to work towards my BSN. So although I do agree that sometimes medication isn't the right answer for all people, I am very thankful for it.