I can't imagine what life would have been like growing up if my parents weren't together. They have been married 24 years, which is half of their lives! I don't think they would know what to do without each other either. Twenty four years later and my dad still brings random "I Love You" flowers home for my mom, and runs to the door to greet her when she gets home. (Sounds like a puppy...? Just kidding!) I don't think I could have handled it if my parents split up. I was a tough-to-handle teenager as it was, they needed each other to raise me! If it would have been one of them against me, I probably would have won.
I can't imagine what it would be like to be a child of divorce. Having to spend holidays apart instead of as a family. I would definitely be one of those children with relationship issues. I already have enough as it is! My parents give me hope that love can be unconditional. And can stay strong throughout the years, through good and bad.
I am so thankful that I wasn't a lost child of divorce. Childhood is hard enough, let alone having to try and figure out where you stand in your so called "family". It would be hard though, as a parent, to decide what to do. Do you raise your child in a hostile environment, where all you do is hate your spouse all day everyday? Or do you separate, and become happier as individuals, but put more strain on the child? Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me. Here's to hoping I am blessed enough to have a love like my parents!
It's not to often that you hear people are still married after a couple years, let alone 24! That's amazing and congrats to them. I feel that too many people don't get married because they are afraid of divorce, yet they act like a married couple, raise children, and still seperate. Seperation is seperation whether married or not. It will always have a negative impact somewhere down the line, luckily for you your parents sound like they have a great relationship/mariage and that alone gives you high hopes for love.
ReplyDeleteI think if your parents had split up, you would be surprised how you still managed to get a lot of good out of both of your parents. You seem to appreciate the quality of your parents, and for some reason believe that if they split up you would lose those qualities.
ReplyDeleteBut what about single parents? A singular parent can arguably be as loving and functioning as a partnership. To me, divorce isn't so much about losing anything, but having to readjust to something different.
I've heard a lot about the “good” parent and the “bad” parent, meaning that in a duel parenting situation, one parent is more involved and loving than another. But in a separation situation, the “bad” or “uninvolved” parent might redefine how they parent their child; getting involved with activities, listening, homework, etc. because they don't have a spouse to rely on for that dynamic anymore.
Basically, the love from your parents would never change, it would just be “different”.
As you mentioned in a way, it can be healthy or unhealthy whether or not your parents stick to the marriage, or separate. Sometimes staying together in a marriage could cause more damage than separating, especially in cases of abuse. You just so happened to get lucky.
It is really nice to hear your parents are together - and how much you appreciate that. My inlaws just celebrated their 40th anniversary and I have to say that I aspire to that! It seems ridiculous, but I am pleased to have reached my 5th anniversary while I sit here and watch the dissolution of some of my friends marriages who have been married even less time than I have. It takes a lot of work, that is for sure, and I think you are right to admire your parents for being together!
ReplyDelete